I arrived back in North Carolina last night. I did not intend on such a quick turn around, but honestly I’m okay with it. When I left Rabinal and spent the night in Leon, all I wanted was to go home and be around the things and people that brought me comfort. Then I took the bus to Merida and got an apartment for a night. A nice warm space paired with the fancy seafood dinner I took myself out to and a solid nights sleep did wonders for me. I woke up yesterday morning and texted a friend,
Surgery seemed an easier route! Ha. Love this post, Megan. Your wit, your wisdom, your humor, your adaptability all shine through. To being the director, to putting ourselves first and letting go not well-working if well-meaning refrains, and to change!
As usual, you remind me of me, and of many corresponding experiences. I found Rabanal - all of it - haunted. Those big, dark, jutting stones, even on the inside. That narrow, cobbled "main" street. That church and the overpowering incense. Actually, I found just about everywhere I walked on the Camino and every edifice haunted. I met a witchy woman, too, in the form of a hospitalera, in the haunted Samos - where there was a gazillion-year-old monastery, also haunted - who asked me what my hurry was, and bored her black eyes into my own, bent on extracting some kind of singular childhood trauma. I dealt with a ridiculous stubbed toe wherein I nearly collapsed and saw stars, but kept going for 7 more hours (on all that shale outside of El Acevedo), and then never stopped for another 10 or so days until I was felled by COVID. I dealt with doctors I couldn't communicate with (and, in Arzua, doctors who turned me away because of the COVID - that said, I also dealt with lovely pharmacists). If I'd hoped that I would have the Big Breakthrough (breaking free of the trap of moi and my bad-think), I didn't. It's taken me a year to acknowledge that - I know this is sacrilege - I didn't like the Camino. But I was very grateful to get back home. Like, *that* was the breakthrough. No place like home. Maybe. Now it's been a year of "home," and I'm ready for... well, something! And I, too, am thinking about travel memoirs...
Hope I didn't hijack your lovely post! I love them so!
Sometimes it takes a stranger voicing what we know in our hearts to be true to fully understand the message. Hope your finger is better and that you feel free each day to keep choosing what direction your life will take
The first me through fifth me-WOW!! Totally struck me! I was just thinking about the general “self care” things myself while on a walk. Then came back to find this article. So powerful! I mean, I screenshot it to pull up at any time later today because I know I will think on it again. And, how is it some stranger in a different country, different language, can know what you need?!?!?! But that particular line spoke to me. Thank you for sharing and ALWAYS giving so much to think on! And the “You can change your life”- I think anyone reading this is going to find meaning for themselves in that.
You are the creator of your own life. Whoa!!
Surgery seemed an easier route! Ha. Love this post, Megan. Your wit, your wisdom, your humor, your adaptability all shine through. To being the director, to putting ourselves first and letting go not well-working if well-meaning refrains, and to change!
As usual, you remind me of me, and of many corresponding experiences. I found Rabanal - all of it - haunted. Those big, dark, jutting stones, even on the inside. That narrow, cobbled "main" street. That church and the overpowering incense. Actually, I found just about everywhere I walked on the Camino and every edifice haunted. I met a witchy woman, too, in the form of a hospitalera, in the haunted Samos - where there was a gazillion-year-old monastery, also haunted - who asked me what my hurry was, and bored her black eyes into my own, bent on extracting some kind of singular childhood trauma. I dealt with a ridiculous stubbed toe wherein I nearly collapsed and saw stars, but kept going for 7 more hours (on all that shale outside of El Acevedo), and then never stopped for another 10 or so days until I was felled by COVID. I dealt with doctors I couldn't communicate with (and, in Arzua, doctors who turned me away because of the COVID - that said, I also dealt with lovely pharmacists). If I'd hoped that I would have the Big Breakthrough (breaking free of the trap of moi and my bad-think), I didn't. It's taken me a year to acknowledge that - I know this is sacrilege - I didn't like the Camino. But I was very grateful to get back home. Like, *that* was the breakthrough. No place like home. Maybe. Now it's been a year of "home," and I'm ready for... well, something! And I, too, am thinking about travel memoirs...
Hope I didn't hijack your lovely post! I love them so!
I felt this viscerally and look forward to your posts every week!
Sometimes it takes a stranger voicing what we know in our hearts to be true to fully understand the message. Hope your finger is better and that you feel free each day to keep choosing what direction your life will take
The first me through fifth me-WOW!! Totally struck me! I was just thinking about the general “self care” things myself while on a walk. Then came back to find this article. So powerful! I mean, I screenshot it to pull up at any time later today because I know I will think on it again. And, how is it some stranger in a different country, different language, can know what you need?!?!?! But that particular line spoke to me. Thank you for sharing and ALWAYS giving so much to think on! And the “You can change your life”- I think anyone reading this is going to find meaning for themselves in that.