Dear Megan,
You were working at that breast cancer center during the time your grandfather was dying. You dated that Turkish man, the one who packed you lunches, made date energy bites for the office girls, and when you didn’t spend the night, would text you as soon as he woke up “Good morning, Askim” (which means my love in Turkish).
On your lunch break one day, you went on a walk and called your grandfather. You couldn’t have known it would be the last time you would hear his voice. You heard the oxygen machine and his breathing was labored.
“I’m coming to see you, Opa. As soon as I hand in this paper for school, I’m coming to see you.”
“That would be wonderful. I love you, honey. I pray for you everyday.”
I pray for you everyday. Those were his last words to you.
You spent that night at the Turkish man’s apartment. He said you were whimpering in your sleep calling out for your Opa. Then he said he had a ringing in his hears.
The next morning while you were both walking his dog, your dad called to say he had passed away. He and his wife were leaving their ski trip in Breckenridge to fly to Wisconsin.
You think about his last words to you often. And how he did pray for you everyday. For sixty years, he and his wife would wake up and pray for their kids, their grandkids, and the church they served.
(My grandparents, Ken & Grace)
You haven’t adopted this, but you have started to work towards a steady meditation practice, which is a great and necessary step to a semblance of a sane life.
You have also started to add submerging your face in a bowl of ice water, making a gratitude list, scripting reading something from Melody Beattie’s book, going for a walk, and clearing your energy.
Don’t over complicate it.
Stillness is enough. Well, stillness and drinking water.
For the rest of your life, you will probably need to be reminded that all the answers you need are inside of you. Not outside.
People distract themselves for a variety of reasons and you are certainly no exception. What remains when you strip away the excess? The excess noise, the endless list of things to do, and conversations just to fill the silence?
It’s worth finding out, don’t you think?
Your grandpa was precious and I see a resemblance I can’t quite place. This was a sweet one ♥️